Dialogue and Intimacy


Betina Juglair

10/24/20223 min read

Frank and open communication in a relationship (be it love, friendship or even casual sex) brings only positive things:

it promotes respect,

is a synonym of care,

with it we understand other people's interests and limits.

However, sometimes talking about intimacy is hard, and maybe we can help you ;)

Communication is not just with words: we must be attentive to the body! Body expression tells us A LOT about openness, desire, will… always be aware of the body!

It's about talking... and about listening!
Have an open listening to the wishes of the other. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but don't judge anyone's preferences!

Each person is different and each one has their own universe of tastes and desires, but also ways of expressing and communicating all of this. It's not because something works for one person that it will work for everyone!

Communication is a practice, an exercise, a process: it's not a matter of talking once and everything is resolved. You have to make it a practice, and constantly align things :)

Talking about desires and necessities
If communication is the foundation of any relationship, it's not always easy to communicate our desires and needs, whether they are sexual, emotional or material. Sometimes even we don't know exactly what we want!

To translate feelings/sensations into words can be difficult and it takes us out of our comfort zone. However, we need to create openings to try to articulate what we are feeling, and make dialogue a constant practice!

There is no right time! Sometimes, a movie or series that we watch, a situation that happened to us, can serve as a hook for other subjects. If something happened that made you feel bad, it's worth communicating what made you feel that way and the expectations you had about the situation.

Before, during and after sex are also great times to adjust expectations, talk about what we like or dislike, or to say that something that happened has awakened other desires…

Attention: it's never good to let annoyances build up and the conversation turns into a fight. It's best to adjust things as they happen.

Always bear in mind that this is a different person, with another body, their own desires - and also their own triggers and traumas. If the person doesn't feel comfortable, don't insist! And if the person is talking, listen! Healthy communication creates safe spaces for non-judgemental sharing.

Attention to non-verbal communication: notice the other person's body, because not everything is always said. Also what works for one person might not work for another, so be careful and mindful :)

without necessarily talking about sex

Everyone wants it, everyone likes it, but do we know how to ask for it? ;)

Let's face it, it's hard to talk about what happens behind closed doors, there's a lot of shame involved. However, we want to expand what you understand by talking about sex: much of our desire is influenced by external factors - for example, there are those who only get horny when they receive affectionate touches, there are those who need a lot of conversation before… ands it’s all good!

A good suggestion is to talk about turn-ons: everything prior to sex that gets you excited. It could be from your crush leaving the dishes washed, for them to know how to cut onions well, or maybe interactions like drinking a glass of wine and talking about the day :) every person has their own little fantasies in everyday, non-sexual actions!

We also encourage you to talk about your tastes and limits: about everything that gives you pleasure and makes you feel good, also what you are not comfortable with. without talking, there is no way for the other person to know! Also, if there are things you're not sure if you like or not, and you're curious to explore, say so! that's the only way to really get to know each other and expand your sexual practices ;)

If it's someone we're not close to, asking something intimate on a date can also be a strategy to break the ice and take flirting to another level, it's a good thermometer to know if the person is interested :)